If you give a parent a nervous breakdown
See, here is the thing: our school district has this home access dealie. So you go there, and you enter your password and whatnot, and you can view all your kid's grades online.
And if, for example, you see that your kid has a 70 in social studies, you can click on the number 70 and it will bring up a list of assignments, quizzes, etc. for that class. And so then you can see what grades your kid has gotten on each assignment/quiz, and also you can see that despite the fact that your kid has at least two hours of homework EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, several assignments and a project or two are MISSING.
So then you can ask your kid what's up with that, but because your kid is autistic, he will have no idea what you're talking about. You can show him the website with the list of missing assignments, but because he's STILL autistic, he STILL will have no idea what you're talking about.
So you can email the teacher in question (directly from that same webpage!) and ask for more info on the assignments and what they were and when they were due and etc., and then you can ask your kid DETAILED QUESTIONS about the assignments and when he got them and what might have happened to them, and he will tell you that he's pretty sure he turned in all of that stuff several days ago.
And you will tell him he did not. And he will tell you he's pretty sure he did.
So then you can email the teacher AGAIN and explain AGAIN about how your kid is autistic and has severe executive function deficits and ask her for HELP with this situation, and she can tell you she will look into it. And you can (correctly, as it turns out) assume that this means she will re-issue the assignments and your kid will have to complete ALL of them in ONE DAY, with 20 points being subtracted from each one due to lateness.
And then you can decide that you will never ever EVER use the home access thingie again. Fingers in your ears, lalalala, you don't want to know.
And you can just go back to having a full-blown anxiety attack every time one of your kid's teachers emails you with your kid's name in the subject line. You know, like usual.
And if, while all this is going on, you happen to be in allergy HELL to the point that you can't even see to drive (because of your corneal dystrophy), and your fibromyalgia happens to be in flare, and you throw out your back WHILE SLEEPING, and you just had a birthday and realized you're halfway to 82, and for the past several months you've had PMS pretty much 24/7 ... well, you might be a LITTLE BIT cranky.
I'm just saying.
Stay tuned for birthday swag, pictures, and happy shit like that! Real soon now! Promise!
And if, for example, you see that your kid has a 70 in social studies, you can click on the number 70 and it will bring up a list of assignments, quizzes, etc. for that class. And so then you can see what grades your kid has gotten on each assignment/quiz, and also you can see that despite the fact that your kid has at least two hours of homework EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, several assignments and a project or two are MISSING.
So then you can ask your kid what's up with that, but because your kid is autistic, he will have no idea what you're talking about. You can show him the website with the list of missing assignments, but because he's STILL autistic, he STILL will have no idea what you're talking about.
So you can email the teacher in question (directly from that same webpage!) and ask for more info on the assignments and what they were and when they were due and etc., and then you can ask your kid DETAILED QUESTIONS about the assignments and when he got them and what might have happened to them, and he will tell you that he's pretty sure he turned in all of that stuff several days ago.
And you will tell him he did not. And he will tell you he's pretty sure he did.
So then you can email the teacher AGAIN and explain AGAIN about how your kid is autistic and has severe executive function deficits and ask her for HELP with this situation, and she can tell you she will look into it. And you can (correctly, as it turns out) assume that this means she will re-issue the assignments and your kid will have to complete ALL of them in ONE DAY, with 20 points being subtracted from each one due to lateness.
And then you can decide that you will never ever EVER use the home access thingie again. Fingers in your ears, lalalala, you don't want to know.
And you can just go back to having a full-blown anxiety attack every time one of your kid's teachers emails you with your kid's name in the subject line. You know, like usual.
And if, while all this is going on, you happen to be in allergy HELL to the point that you can't even see to drive (because of your corneal dystrophy), and your fibromyalgia happens to be in flare, and you throw out your back WHILE SLEEPING, and you just had a birthday and realized you're halfway to 82, and for the past several months you've had PMS pretty much 24/7 ... well, you might be a LITTLE BIT cranky.
I'm just saying.
Stay tuned for birthday swag, pictures, and happy shit like that! Real soon now! Promise!
posted by Badger at 6:53 AM
15 Comments:
The Nanny Cam has been violated.
And I can't believe you threw your back out on the sex bed. No. Wait. Let me rephrase. Nah.
Wow, and to think I thought I was the only parent having a nervous breakdown because of homework. Only, my kid is only in 3rd grade and the teacher is being a bit, um, difficult. Which means I might need to go punch a hole in the wall or else I might be tempted to go toe-to-toe with the teacher.
That homework assignment checker thingy is one of the most cursed blessing dealios ever.
Happy belated birthday, you still-sexy thang!
Boy, I can hardly wait for all of the homework related fun. Oh wait, I can. Eeeeeek.
My son was one of 18 kids (in a class of 23) who served lunch detention for missing an assignment.
We all (the parents) got an email about it from the teacher, and she told the kids: tell your parents not to say anything about 18 kids not getting it, because I TOLD you guys this assignment was due.
My husband was going to comment on that anyway, of course. I managed to refrain from pointing out her spelling errors.
"the site of 18 students looking at me with no homework"
I hope you are feeling better. I hate to say it, but perimenopause, which contributes to the general deterioration of everything and makes you feel homocidal at the same time, can last for 10 years.
Cheers! feel better!
I think the lalalala fingers in ears approach sounds very reasonalbe at the moment.
The seventh grader's homework checky thingy is never correct. The eleventh grader's is impossible to log on to.
The teachers send helpful emails saying "...you can keep up to date on your child's assignments and progress using the homework checky thingy..."
Lalalalalala!
Repeat after me ...
"it won't always be this way ..."
"it won't always be this way ..."
Then curl up in a ball on the couch and drink wine! Something good at least has to come out of that.
;-)
I made it three weeks and three days before I got the "Dear Mrs., ...has missed 5 out of 8 homework assignments." Was really trying for at least October before I got an email from the teacher. And this kid is the Great White Hope what with the other two being on IEP's and all. I feel your pain. I find a glass of wine or two or three to be of tremendous help. Green Beans Almondine
Myself wanting so badly to curl in a tiny Day Two ball (fetus position) and I CAN'T because of that silly thing called a job and no sick time left.
I'll send you what Tylenol I have left. Wait, Max might have some Percocet...
Loved the second person telling of this story.
I tutor high school kids, none who have autism, and most haven't a clue about the grades on line. Where is the boy's IEP and where is the counselor or whoever is the buffer between you and the teacher?This is a great tool for me to try to make sense of how each student is doing. I am the buffer between my kids and their teachers. E mail me if you want more info.
I'm writing my thesis on family-school communication...
Love your blog in general, but it's posts like these that make the whole reading millions of journal articles/meeting with professors/being generally stressed out worth it...
It's only now, days later, that I caught your "If you give a mouse a cookie" reference. :)
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